So sit back, grab a glass of something....and let's talk about Social Media.
My friend Meilee told me the other day that Facebook is basically for old people because the young people these days are using Snapchat and Instagram. For what it's worth, I have an account on all three outlets but I still prefer Facebook. Snapchat seems stupid. Or maybe I am...I don't know. Why would I want to get a message that I can only read for a few seconds before it disappears? And what the crap is a Snapchat story? In my world, it's called a Facebook Timeline.
Anyhow, as an avid Facebook user, I accept the charge that I am old. I will gladly wear that hat. In fact, I will rock that hat so hard that everyone who sees me wishes they could also wear the "old" hat.
All the cool kids are old. Duh.
Notice how I'm totally ignoring IG? Yeah- I do that in real life too. It's a good thing that Kendra runs our business IG.
So if we old folks are going to boycott the Snapchat and stick to Facebook, let's agree on some standard rules, shall we?
Look, I'm not trying to be all "BIG GOVERNMENT" here but I think we need to be on the same page about a few obvious things.
So, without further adieu, here are the rules that Mark Zuckerburg wishes he implemented when he invented Facebook:
FOOD PICTURES
Everyone eats food. It doesn't make you special. So if you feel compelled to take a picture of your dinner, please make sure it's a good picture or else people might confuse your corn-beef hash with vomit. Let's also try to avoid paper plates, poor lighting and mush.
THIS is a good picture. It's well-lit. The food is pretty.
FAKE NEWS STORIES
This one's easy.
If you see a "news" article from The Onion. It's fake.
If you see that a celebrity has died, Google it first. If it's not on CNN or MSNBC or TMZ, it's fake.
Another tip: look at the date of the news article. Sometimes you are sharing a story that is three years old.
Ain't nobody got time to read fake stuff.
EXERCISE
So you work out? Great! I'm really happy for you and so is everyone else on your friends list. But guess what, when you post sweaty selfies, screenshots of the treadmill numbers or, worse, videos....we keep scrolling. Unless we are all on a team of some kind (and let me be clear...I am NOT on a team that requires exercise or the documentation of exercise), then No. Just no. Because if you need everyone to know that you are working out, maybe you aren't doing it for YOU.
POSTS THAT REQUIRE ME TO SHARE
You know what I'm talking about. "Cut and paste this as your status if Jesus is your Lord and Savior."
Unless I'm mistaken, there isn't an 11th Commandment that says, "Thou shalt share all Facebook statuses when My name is written in the post."
Jesus knows that I love Him and it's not because I share a status.
Which leads me to the next rule...
NO PREACHING....
....unless you are a preacher. In which case, preach on preacher-man.
Don't get me wrong, if you want to share a verse, write some encouraging words or forward an article or story that helped you, that's GREAT! But when you start getting all....preachy (like legit preachy)....you are stepping out of bounds.
It's like that time I read an article on WebMD and then tried to do surgery.
SELLING THINGS
I would like to preface this by saying that I have lot of friends who were friends with me BEFORE they started selling things to make extra money. This is fine. This is great, in fact! I'm talking about the people that I've never met in real life who friend request me so they can try to sell me a purse or some leggings, or some make-up.
Unless you are selling a little elf that will live silently in my house and do all the cooking, cleaning and laundry....then it's cool. I've never seen one of those for sale and I could totally use one.
Oh wait...I'll also take a tree that grows money. In fact, I'll take two of those.
So that's it...I think. Is there anything I left off the list?
And if you missed me, leave a little love in the comments section. Everyone loves love.
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